Golden Gate Bridge

San Francisco, California

1937

A wonder of the modern world has been created

Built of steel

This, magnificent span

after the four year of struggle of

relentless winds,

blinding fog,

rocks embedded underneath the water

prepared to gouge you from the inside out

and treacherous tides ready to tear you apart

A technical masterpiece

that can only be described

in superlative terms

Many said that a suspension bridge was impossible

but on May 27th 1937

Joseph Strauss proved the engineering world wrong

a one-mile-wide,

three-mile-long channel

between the San Francisco Bay and the Pacific Ocean

This is the Golden Gate Bridge

The Frommers travel guide describes the bridge as number one of the four hundred and eighty eight things to do in the city

But if you think that's a high number

wait until you hear this,

one thousand six hundred

One thousand six hundred

bodies have been recovered from the water

One thousand six hundred people

stood on the edge and contemplated taking their lives

had fear embedded in their eyes

tired of tides rolling down their cheeks

during unsteady seas

tired, of being suspended admis a violent storm

One thousand six hundred could've been your classmate

your co worker

your son

your daughter

and all you saw in them

was a beautiful structure with iron work bones

who could carry itself

You didn't see the suspension cables

they manufactured across their wrist

You didn't see them starting to rust

deteriorate, rot, weaken, bend, break,

that there are limits and maximums

You didn't see that bridges can only take so much

before they cave in

San Francisco, California

September 24, 2000

19 year old Kevin Hines

throws himself head first over the 4 foot rail

Dives down at 45 miles per hour

His body turns and hits the water in the sitting position

taking the impact to his lower torso,

shattering three vertebrae,

lacerating his lower organs,

and 6 years later he stated,

“There was a millisecond of free fall. In that instant, I thought, what have I just done? I don’t want to die.”

He is one of the 34 people who survived

San Francisco, California

May 7th 2015

I don't really want to die either

but as I stand on the edge

gravity feels so much heavier

when you're 220 feet from what's to be the marking

on a coordinate grid of lives that couldn't be saved

X axis, a type of tired sleep would never fix

Y axis, defeat

Connect the dots,

add it together,

make me a number,

turn my death into another statistic,

Divide my value again and again

until you figure out how such a happy child

turned out to be this way

Did you line up the decimals?

Did you ask them how their day was?

Did you follow the order of operations?

Did you follow after them into the bathroom?

Did you hear them crying behind closed doors?

Rewrite, reevaluate, until you figure out where I land

So I stand above this

rigid rocked ocean floor resting place

and I believe I know why it's called the Golden Gate

Because we were all just scared kids

with splitting cables and crushed beams

and broken hearts

hoping that if this is hell

Golden Gates must be awaiting

the oxidized minds and loss bolted happiness,

that rattled inside the skulls of those who believed they were angels who could fly

so they could still get into heaven

if they killed themselves

Every 40 seconds 50 cars cross the bridge

Every 40 seconds someone commits suicide

So as I find myself unable to throw myself over

I think, how could you die in such a breathtaking place?

I imagine Joseph Strauss

and how much pride spills at the corners of the engineer’s smile

and the splash that it makes

but we aren't too different from what he built

There is beauty constructed inside all of us

it just depends on how well you're able hold yourself up